Room for rent .... sold!

When it comes to matters of the heart, how much room are we prepared to give up for someone else to occupy it? And for how long? And at what cost? To me, all these questions are insignificant due to one fundamental problem. There is never an agreement signed between you and the tenant to begin with. The landlady or landlord will always be at a disadvantage whatever happens.

If all is well, you probably get a tenant that does all the right things to only make your heart grow fonder. He or she pays his or her dues. Gifts and dinners reciprocated with care and love. Anniversaries remembered and ahem acts of love, right out of the roof! No surprise overnighters and the room always smells of you.

But more likely than not, you get a tenant that short-lives the stay, leaving piles of mess behind and create such a havoc in the neighborhood, the whole heart ends up empty and lifeless. Such an awful after-taste leaves you wondering 'Is it worth advertising again for a new tenant?' or maybe it is better off letting it out on a prepaid basis with seven years worth of deposit. You know what they say about tenants always itching to move out after seven years.

So next time, before you decide to take on a new tenant, remember everyone has a heart. Do we really need to share ours with another?

The Big Tissue Issue

Finally, a post that will make or break my blog. I am not one who complains about trivial things in life (just life as a whole) but this time I have to make an exception. It's something I came across first when studying in UK. It was a puzzle at first sight, but love prevails at the end.  Since returning home, I have completely forgotten about it until yesterday, when out of no where I came up with the words 'Tissue Issue', thought it would be a nice heading for a post, promised myself that I would write something befitting and here it is. KLEENEX TISSUES FOR MEN.

First sight. So apparently normal tissues are too girly. Or are they too delicate? Too small? Or is this a desperate attempt to introduce tissues to the other gender? The box looks bigger, is coloured black, has no scent and costs a little more than normal tissues. Who on earth would pay more for something that you only use for a few seconds and without giving a second thought, bin it? What on earth do men have more of that ordinary tissues cannot wipe? Tsk, tsk, shame on you Kleenex.

Second sight. Ok, ok, I give in. You do look kinda high quality, in your handsome and majestic box. And besides, it's buy one, get one free. Being a sucker for packaging and cheap bargains, I was sold.

Let's take a detour for now. Guys, hands up if you carry a box of tissues (or roll of toilet paper) by your bed. Girls, hands up if you have never noticed that in your boyfriends' rooms. Have you ever wondered why us boys invariably have a box of tissues conveniently located within arm's reach beside our beds? No, it's not because we drool or we sneeze when we sleep. And no we do not like to read Jane Austen to sleep. It's more like we read something else to sleep, or rather watch. So, gather what the tissues are for!

So like most other men, I put the two boxes of tissues on my bedside table. Now this is getting a bit personal, so if you are easily embarrassed by adult topics, I suggest you stop reading. Normally, I would use at least two of the ordinary tissues per 'pop' (ahem!), depending on when the last 'pop' was. But with this men tissue, I was pleasantly surprised to say, it mopped the whole thing up 'single-leafletly' (double ply, of course). I was enlightened. So, that is why Kleenex came up with men tissues. It's not because we have bigger noses or mouths to wipe. It's because we have an additional appendage to clean up. Derrr! It's not as if Kleenex can possibly call it, Kleenex tissues for spunk, can it? Although, if that was the case, it would be hands down, love at first sight!

And for the rest of my evenings in UK, it was happily ever after. Double the time for the bin to get filled, half the cost of my tissues needs. Hence, less nags from the missus. OK I made the last bit up, but I am quite sure, deep down she was eternally grateful for Kleenex tissues for men too.

Happily ever after

A dedication to those who have lived, loved, lost and continued to live.  We do not live in a world that always have to start with 'Once upon a time' and end with a 'happily ever after'. Come on, they are not called FAIRY tales just because they have fairies in them. They are not necessarily applicable to our modern days love stories. In fact, they are purely delusional. 

Why we were exposed to such lies right from our early days baffles me. If I were to have my ways, I would show my children 'animal planet' from day one. It is a dog eats dog world, survival of the fittest.

Your happily ever after does not have to rely on another person. You are the sole determinant of how happy you want to be and for how long you want it to be. True, it does not come easy, at times you have to work really hard to achieve it. And at times, people will try to stop you. But the point is, it is your life. You control it. Know your friends from your foes, your family from the fuckwits. And remember, no one will ever ever love yourself more than your own self.

So, congratulations to those who have found their other halves (but deep down you still know who love yourself more!) and to those more fortunate ones, continue keeping the loves to your own selves. Some things are better left unshared.

Love is everything

Finally, a korean film that did it for me. The film industry in Korea has churned out numerous films that have invaded Asia and now seem to have hit the right spot for the western world too. What come straight to our minds are probably countless horror films usually with the posters or dvd covers showing solemn, paler than pale faces of the leading actress with their necks twisted in an awkward way and/or with blood streaking down their eyes. However, the film that really inspired me so much as to write it as a blog is a comedy called 'Sex is zero'.

I was first introduced to this film a few years back when my koreans-loving friend asked for my help to search the dvd out. She had no time as she was practically glued to her laptop watching the latest epsiodes of various korean dramas simultaneously on different windows. Now, talk about multi-tasking! Strange she does not have cross eyes yet. Few years down the line, she is still as crazy about the koreans and has even dragged her beloved to do the same. If that is not love, I don't know what is.

Back to the film, obviously my search was futile being just released in Korea at that time and was top in the box office for few weeks. I have totally forgotten about it until I saw the sequel in the shops early this year. And lo and behold, the prequel was lying faithfully by it's side. Upon examining their covers, I could not help but think that they are just the Asian versions of 'American pie'. I was put off by the idea and nonchalantly put them back where they belong thinking, 'Ahhh, maybe next time when I really have nothing to watch.'

That was not the last of it. Like an unwavering cold, this film was more persistent than I thought. It popped up in my brother's room today. Now, my brother is not one who would readily experiment with cross-culture films. Then I remember the title. And who says sex does not sell?

No doubt, the title says it all. A comedy about sex. But like what the title also says, sex is not everything in this film. It has it's equal amount of drama, tear-jerking moments and of course funny scenes. It really had me reaching for the tissues (ahem, not just to wipe my eyes!). 

The thing about korean comedies I have watched is that they are pretty draggy in the middle. The funny bits just evaporated into numbing and unrelated scenes. I was expecting the same thing with 'Sex is zero' but was pleasantly surprised to discover that I was kept entertained right to the end and in fact, was yearning for more.

All in all, a most deserving ten out of ten for a comedy from Asia. Not good enough for me to want to watch the sequel but maybe that's because I do not want to be disappointed or maybe I still have that bad after-taste from korean comedies in the past.

Selfless good deeds

In today's society, there are no such things as selfless good deeds. There is always a motive behind them. I just have to start off with these two strong statements while they still sound agreeable in my head because they are so controversial even I sometimes have a hard time accepting them.

Think of something you deem are selfless good deeds. Charity. Unconditional love. Admitting fault and saying sorry. I am sure, you have experienced at least one of them in your lifetime. How did they make you feel? Good? Exactly my point. The fact that you feel good at the end neglects the act as being deemed selfless.

Let's break it down. Take for instance, feeling and saying sorry. A child broke a window. He felt guilty. So when you are feeling miserable, our selfish self automatically think of a way to make itself feel better again. So what did the boy do? Admitted fault and said sorry. In turn, he was forgiven and even praised. Bingo, job done nicely. He has turned from being miserable to feeling good. We say sorry just because we feel bad and want to feel better again. Therefore, not selfless.

Now, let's tackle charity. Ever notice how donations are accepted by society nowadays? In front of cameras. Next day, what do u see? Pictures and names for a selfless good deed. Does it still sound selfless now? We donate because we can afford to and expect some form of acknowledgement and publicity in return. Therefore, not selfless.

When a mother gives her child unconditional love, she is giving the child the best that she can afford to. The best milk powder, the best education, the best clothes. So he or she can grow into a successful and healthy being. How do you think the mother would feel if in twenty or thirty years time, the child becomes a successful attorney, moves away from her and never returns? Disappointed? Point proven. She gives and gives because she expects a return, therefore not selfless.

You can come up with a million and one things that you feel are selfless but I can assure you, there will always be a motive behind them. Why? We are created selfish fundamentally but we are brought up to think that being selfish is bad. So our body comes up with ways to fool itself into thinking that we are not. I can even go as far as saying creating and using the word 'selfless' is one of the ways. So from now on, wipe that word off your vocabulary and that might be the one true unselfish good deed!

A knot tied heavenly

From lunch partners to diving buddies,

Anny, we have come a long, long way.

From Pilong Rock to Richelieu Rock,

friends we will always be, come what may.

From your arm chair to villa three,

your generosity has touched me beyond words can say.

From resorts to liveaboards,

the trips we had together, I will always remember till the day I lay.

From nudibranchs to manta rays,

what you've shown me, is never far from divine.

From being lost to being found,

a friend like you, what can I say, is my most priceless find.

From the laughters to the tears,

the hurt I have caused is never sincere.

Though the visits are less and the calls few,

whatever you need, you can always count on me.

Be it a hand, a shoulder, an ear or even things brand new.

So from a friend to another,

I wish you a journey of blessings and bliss.

A journey of health and love,

and a journey with new beginnings and no ends.

Here is to Anny and Helmy.

RedLob says ......

......... friendship is when their absence is never forgotten and their presence is forever treasured.

Two heads are better than one

To avoid making my blog monotonous, I was resisting very hard to add another video clip especially one related to music. However, having come across this video clip by chance, I really have no choice. This clip sums up all the things I have been occupied with during my free time lately. And may I add, things I really believe stand out above the rest in their respective classes.

1) Radiohead - Self-explanatory really from the guitars they played and Thom's voice

2) Portishead - Thom singing The Rip, one of the best tracks from PH's Third album. A duet would be mind-blowing!

3) The Mac on the desk - Really have to include this. It's like icing on the cake.

So here it is. Enjoy one heck of an impromptu performance ........

RedLob says ......

.......you know you have flown enough when you rather sleep through in-flight meals.

Viva la POP!

On a happy note (!!!!!), a stark contrast to my previous ones by a million tones, this post is only made possible by Alphabeat. Yes, it's official. Pop is spelt A-L-P-H-A-B-E-A-T! Refreshing, energetic and plainly FUN! Who cares if I am replacing hairs on the head with fats on the chin and belly? Who cares if work sucks? You can always fall back to POP. And it's good to be a Popishead instead of Portishead once in a while.

Sin-i-see

Age. It's only a number, but why the fuss? Our first decade is a world of oblivions. We think the whole world evolves around us in our second and in our third, it evolves around our other half and another and another. Come fourth, our eyes open to the real world out there. The real world, that is what the fuss is all about.

Louie Armstrong must be on ecstasy or prozac when he sang 'What a wonderful world'. Or maybe it was just his sarcastic humour, 'Life is shit, but what do u know, u inconspicuous amoebas!'. For what he sings is the exact opposite to the way I view the world. And having the lyrics right in front of my eyes, I just cannot help but sneer. He has gotta be at least high on pot!

Trees are green because they are not in our way yet. Roses are no longer red. They can be blue, black and purple too. But who cares? Skies of blue and clouds of white? These days, it's more like dark skies and clouds? What clouds? Friends shaking hands saying, 'How do you do?', they're really saying, 'I love you'. ROFL! It's more like how do you do, i want to fuck you, or I need your money or I need your wife. And don't get me started on the babies growing up learning more than you'll ever know.

If we look at mankind nowadays, we can throw Darwin's theory of evolution out of the window. More lifestyle diseases, more self-destruction, more divorces, more greed. What? We think we are so good that the idea of a greater being out there is delusional? Are these the basis of natural selection for the survival of the fittest? Or have we come to the end of the long chain of evolution processes? Have we become too good for our own good? Living things may evolve to suit its world but the world does not evolve to suit its habitants.

So, in my thirties, life is no longer about whether a mac is better than a pc, or whether I will ever repay my car loan. It is time to open my eyes to the real world. I see children in isolated villages smiling and cheerful, not having electricity, just happy because they have friends to play with, fish their fathers catch from the seas everyday to eat. I see old couples holding hands, happy just because they have each other through the good and bad times. It is all back to basics. Shelter + food + love = happiness = survival of the fittest.

So have we really evolved if despite all the inventions and all the money, we still live a life of adultery, scams and misery? Do you still think to yourself, what a wonderful world?

Is too much conscience good conscience?

I owe this posting to the TV series 'My name is Earl'. We are no stranger to the word 'karma' or the phrase 'what goes around comes around'. Alicia and Justin sang about them. But without conscience we can never understand what it is that goes around which will come back around to bite us.

So what is conscience? I do not recall being taught about it in school. Neither have my elders told me about it. In fact, it is something which I have always been baffled with. Are we born with it? Do we embrace it unconsciously as we grow up? What is it that tells our minds that something we have done or not done is right or wrong? Maybe that's why it is called conscience. It cons science!

One thing I know for sure though is that conscience, I have plenty of it in me. I always believe that if you have enough conscience, you do not need religion to guide you through life. Now before you bombard me with 101 reasons why religion is more than that, in my defence, I am never brought up to be a religious person. So don't get me wrong here. I am not saying religion is obsolete. I merely trust my conscience more.

As a general rule of thumb, our conscience tells us anything that we do or not do that hurts another person or any living creatures (if you want to take it to that extreme) is wrong. However, if you throw yourself into that equation, that's when conscience becomes somewhat grey. After all, ourself as an entity is a person too. So who does our conscience want to hurt more?

Having too much conscience teaches you to be selfless towards others. That in turn makes you become selfish towards your own self. Haven't you asked yourself 'why did I give away the last piece of pie when I wanted it so much?' before? Your conscience tells you that is the right thing to do. You feel great, doing a selfless act. Now, substitute that piece of pie with a good job, a love in your life or happiness. What does your conscience tell you to do now?

Maybe I am just trying to put the blame on something for regretting having done or not doing something in my life. But maybe it's also time my conscience starts thinking about the life of the person it is controlling and make a list. Karma #1: Making Tat miserable by telling him to be nice to other people most of the time. Ok, I said MOST of the time!

Intellectual voyeurism

Blogging. What drives us to partake in this strange activity which until two years ago I didn't know existed? Is it the need to share with others news about ourselves? Is it a way of telling people how knowledgeable or artistic we are? Whatever your reasons may be, I believe they are somehow related to 'intellectual voyeurism'.

Since young, we have been taught the skills of showing off  ourselves. What is the first essay you were asked to write in school? Myself. Invariably, all of us has been asked to stand on the chair or on the corridor for doing something wrong. And for doing something right, we were rewarded with a prize which we have to collect in front of class or on stage. We were forced into voyeurism.

Then came karaoke. A most innovative if not irritating way of showcasing our vocal talents or deafness. We became willing voyeurs. And as if that is not enough, television companies created a hub for us to reach an even wider audience. The idol series, reality television shows took over our lives.

Nowadays wherever we turn, we find ways of letting the world know our existence. Radio call-ins, chatlines, friendster. The more we can impart ourselves, the more popular the channel becomes. Which is why, I believe, blogging is the next facebook. Which is why, I have started doing this. Because like you and I, we are all desperate voyeurs. The bigger the audience the better.