The Big Tissue Issue

Finally, a post that will make or break my blog. I am not one who complains about trivial things in life (just life as a whole) but this time I have to make an exception. It's something I came across first when studying in UK. It was a puzzle at first sight, but love prevails at the end.  Since returning home, I have completely forgotten about it until yesterday, when out of no where I came up with the words 'Tissue Issue', thought it would be a nice heading for a post, promised myself that I would write something befitting and here it is. KLEENEX TISSUES FOR MEN.

First sight. So apparently normal tissues are too girly. Or are they too delicate? Too small? Or is this a desperate attempt to introduce tissues to the other gender? The box looks bigger, is coloured black, has no scent and costs a little more than normal tissues. Who on earth would pay more for something that you only use for a few seconds and without giving a second thought, bin it? What on earth do men have more of that ordinary tissues cannot wipe? Tsk, tsk, shame on you Kleenex.

Second sight. Ok, ok, I give in. You do look kinda high quality, in your handsome and majestic box. And besides, it's buy one, get one free. Being a sucker for packaging and cheap bargains, I was sold.

Let's take a detour for now. Guys, hands up if you carry a box of tissues (or roll of toilet paper) by your bed. Girls, hands up if you have never noticed that in your boyfriends' rooms. Have you ever wondered why us boys invariably have a box of tissues conveniently located within arm's reach beside our beds? No, it's not because we drool or we sneeze when we sleep. And no we do not like to read Jane Austen to sleep. It's more like we read something else to sleep, or rather watch. So, gather what the tissues are for!

So like most other men, I put the two boxes of tissues on my bedside table. Now this is getting a bit personal, so if you are easily embarrassed by adult topics, I suggest you stop reading. Normally, I would use at least two of the ordinary tissues per 'pop' (ahem!), depending on when the last 'pop' was. But with this men tissue, I was pleasantly surprised to say, it mopped the whole thing up 'single-leafletly' (double ply, of course). I was enlightened. So, that is why Kleenex came up with men tissues. It's not because we have bigger noses or mouths to wipe. It's because we have an additional appendage to clean up. Derrr! It's not as if Kleenex can possibly call it, Kleenex tissues for spunk, can it? Although, if that was the case, it would be hands down, love at first sight!

And for the rest of my evenings in UK, it was happily ever after. Double the time for the bin to get filled, half the cost of my tissues needs. Hence, less nags from the missus. OK I made the last bit up, but I am quite sure, deep down she was eternally grateful for Kleenex tissues for men too.